Are You All About You or All About Him?

When I was married the first time, my ex found a need to mold me into the wife he thought I should be. I was always into clothes,  makeup, hair, and the occasional sexy look for going out or just because Why Not? He wanted me to be more subdued. He didn’t like men to pay attention to me (not that any husband would), but he preferred the no make-up look, the sneakers, the less feminine vibe. I began to wear little to no make-up, clothes that didn’t hug the curves, big sweatshirts and sensible shoes. I was super thin. I was morphing into his idea of beauty and not mine. I went with his perception for a long time, convincing myself this was who I am. My own mother was like, “Who are you?” Even my old friends who I grew up with were asking, “Where’s Syd?” I can’t blame him, I was stuck in a cycle of self doubt and wanted to please. Somehow I wasn’t capable of saying, “I like who I am.”

If you’re reading this blog, you can tell it’s about a positive journey I’m taking in terms of health and wellness and I’m hoping to inspire you along for the ride. I had an epiphany this morning, which is anti the entire diet concept. If you feel good, and you’re doing everything you can to remain healthy then you’re on the right track. Yes, it’s possible to be 175 pounds and in great shape both mentally and physically. I just grabbed that number from nowhere, but years ago, I would have felt like I betrayed my husband if I weighed 175 pounds. At some point in time we need to stop embracing all that’s emaciated as beautiful. How you look and feel has to be about you. Are you eating tons of sugary snacks and fillers? That’s a problem regardless of what your size is. Being active is important, that’s why I’m such a proponent of yoga. It’s something you can do for the mind and body. It took me many years to figure out that if I’m not happy about my body, that’s my problem, not yours and certainly not his.

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  1. I’m glad you shared this with us. I’m 24 and recently engaged and I keep reminding myself “Be who I WANT TO BE” , care for him and be a good future wifey but don’t forget who I REALLY AM. I’m really making myself remember during this process I am my own person and I cannot loose it during this marriage process, so this was a inspiring read for me! Thank you so much.

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