As my followers know, I was married before. We were besties with another couple. Let’s call them Joe and Jackie. It was perfect because my husband adored Joe and Jackie was my best friend. We had so much in common with this couple, from our sense of humor to our favorite sports team. My husband at the time had season tickets to the Dolphins, and he tended to bring Joe. We were members of a country club, and my husband was more than happy to sponsor Joe and Jackie. However, when my husband and I spilt up, they had to choose apparently and I lost my best friend. I remember being crushed. I’d introduced her to so many of my friends and she just threw me aside. I didn’t have cool sports tickets to offer or a prestigious club membership. I couldn’t help them climb the social ladder. My so called best friend did not want to hear why my husband and I spilt up, she was more interested in the shunning. I was sick, I just wanted to talk to her but I was persona non-grata.
A few years ago, my husband and I were members of a large clique. There was a woman and her husband, let’s call them Carl and Polly who tended to host most events and fancied themselves the “group leaders.” Looking back, I realize there was a mean girl side to Polly. If you didn’t follow her lead, you were out. To this day I’m still not sure what happened between her and I. I asked, and she wouldn’t tell me. Very mature, you’re probably thinking. A few of the ladies told me Polly tried to have me banned from all social gatherings. Polly’s favorite past time was alienating people who didn’t comply. As it turns out she blamed me for not getting an invite to another party. I was the easy target.
Now I’m not all innocent in this story. There were times when I was a downright mean girl. I’ve ghosted many a friend in my lifetime. Sometimes the person hurt my feelings and I was done. Other times, I decided the friendship had run it’s course. Naturally there was never an explanation. I just stopped calling or answering calls. Karma is a bitch. The only thing I can say is I don’t really expect children to have the communication skills to unfriend a person and then explain why. As adults, we deserve an explanation. I think most adults are too ashamed of their behavior to offer any real reason.
Jealousy can play a large role in why someone cuts you out of their life. You’re too successful, you lost weight and look too good, you got a promotion, you’re in a great relationship, you’re happy. When a friend breaks up with you, you ask why but if they refuse to tell you then it’s on them. I know it hurts but at the end of the day, the person really wasn’t your friend. It would take a lot more than my promotion or their marriage breakup to end my relationship with my true friends. What’s your take?