When Your Friend Breaks Up With You

As my followers know, I was married before. We were besties with another couple. Let’s call them Joe and Jackie. It was perfect because my husband adored Joe and Jackie was my best friend. We had so much in common with this couple, from our sense of humor to our favorite sports team. My husband at the time had season tickets to the Dolphins, and he tended to bring Joe. We were members of a country club, and my husband was more than happy to sponsor Joe and Jackie. However, when my husband and I spilt up, they had to choose apparently and I lost my best friend. I remember being crushed. I’d introduced her to so many of my friends and she just threw me aside. I didn’t have cool sports tickets to offer or a prestigious club membership. I couldn’t help them climb the social ladder. My so called best friend did not want to hear why my husband and I spilt up, she was more interested in the shunning. I was sick, I just wanted to talk to her but I was persona non-grata.

A few years ago, my husband and I were members of a large clique. There was a woman and her husband, let’s call them Carl and Polly who tended to host most events and fancied themselves the “group leaders.” Looking back, I realize there was a mean girl side to Polly. If you didn’t follow her lead, you were out. To this day I’m still not sure what happened between her and I. I asked, and she wouldn’t tell me. Very mature, you’re probably thinking. A few of the ladies told me Polly tried to have me banned from all social gatherings. Polly’s favorite past time was alienating people who didn’t comply. As it turns out she blamed me for not getting an invite to another party. I was the easy target.

Now I’m not all innocent in this story. There were times when I was a downright mean girl. I’ve ghosted many a friend in my lifetime. Sometimes the person hurt my feelings and I was done. Other times, I decided the friendship had run it’s course. Naturally there was never an explanation. I just stopped calling or answering calls. Karma is a bitch. The only thing I can say is I don’t really expect children to have the communication skills to unfriend a person and then explain why. As adults, we deserve an explanation. I think most adults are too ashamed of their behavior to offer any real reason.

Jealousy can play a large role in why someone cuts you out of their life. You’re too successful, you lost weight and look too good, you got a promotion, you’re in a great relationship, you’re happy. When a friend breaks up with you, you ask why but if they refuse to tell you then it’s on them. I know it hurts but at the end of the day, the person really wasn’t your friend. It would take a lot more than my promotion or their marriage breakup to end my relationship with my true friends. What’s your take?


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12 comments

  1. I have to say that anyone who would give you up as a friend is an asshole & does probably not know what a good friend looks like. Hard, but better off without them in your life. Am I a little(or a lot) prejudiced on your behalf yes I am but that doesn’t change who you are!❤️

  2. I hate to hear that grown adults don’t know how to communicate and can be petty like this. You’re too good of a friend for them anyway!

  3. I hate that as adults we still have to deal with this kind of stuff!! I understand that when you were married you all were a couples type of group, but is she was your friend then she should have been able to stick by you! It’s sad they choose social climbing over real friendship but hey it’s their loss!

  4. Sydney, here are my comments. First, you are a very good writer. Your ability to deliver an informative and entertaining story is a talent. Write more!

    As far as friends and relationships go… in a discussion on friends, bullying, and life, in general, I have often been heard to say in my Saturday morning clinics to my students “you are good until you are no good”. Life is full of paths we must travel to fulfill densities we are not privy to. There are only two things that can be done here. First, if there is something you can do to fix the situation do it. Second, If not walk away. Becoming a prisoner of circumstances that are clearly beyond your control is not a healthy choice.

    Here is something you may choose to remember. Nothing in life means anything except the meaning you give it.

    The Bag Dilemma,

    You are smart enough to be a designer of your own handbag. A handbag created by you for you with your brand. Take the steps to learn how to create just one. We live in a time where not too many things are out of our reach. Do this once you will learn so much, and who knows where Sydney Culver’s destiny is meant to take her. Please give our regards to the family. Miss you all.

    1. I love your response!!! And I remember, “You’re good until your no good.” So true! I agree, you certainly cannot let the past determine your future. As for the handbag…you may be on to something! Love to all!

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