A Brutally Honest Letter to Parents

Dear Parents,

Teachers and staff do not want to call you and report negative information about your student unless they have literally and figuratively tried everything to work with your child. When a teacher calls you, they expect your full support, not an argument or justification on why it’s okay to hit another student or staff member. That’s right parents, students are actually putting their hands on other people. A kindergarten teacher was punched in the stomach by a student because she could not control his behavior. Fast forward thirteen years and now that same student is cursing out adults, getting into physical altercations and getting thrown out of schools. You’re tired and we’re tired but it is not a teacher’s job to undo seventeen years of poor parenting and befriending your child as if he is your peer. That’s right parents, students are claiming to smoke with you, go to the club with you and are not being forced to attend school, get good grades and be respectful.

When a student gets to school two hours late, he is missing important academic seat time. You tried to get him out of bed, but he wouldn’t budge. He went to bed late, so you let him sleep in (never mind he was up playing video games). This behavior is unacceptable and yet you’re fine with it, until he’s not progressing or graduating and then suddenly it’s the schools fault.

Students are acting self destructive and unpredictable. They’re angry and overly aggressive but you don’t have them in therapy or on the appropriate medications, because your student doesn’t want to take medicine. Kids are anxiety riddled, depressed and suffering from PTSD, but you want the teachers to be the therapist. Please don’t argue with a teacher when you know your child has anger management problems (that you never mentioned), and he is suspended for provoking an incident, which disrupts the entire school. That’s not fair.

I would love to see parents partner with the school, and support teachers and staff. If your student is misbehaving and is sent home, don’t buy him a new pair of Jordan’s or the latest iPhone. That’s counterproductive. Do you ever wonder why young college graduates don’t want to go into education? Why is teacher turnover so high? Because we don’t have a partnership with parents. We’re exhausted, and we can’t teach. We need your help and we’re not getting it. Thoughts? Comments?

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3 comments

  1. I don’t have any children but I truly hear what you’re saying! I’m a therapist at a psychiatric behavioral health hospital & we encounter the same problems with the parents not supporting the children in the ways they should. Many children regularly not attending school, being allowed to do drugst in their parents homes, aggressive/criminal behaviors and the parents not intervening or placing demands on the children. More parents want to be friends instead of disciplinarians. I can only imagine how the disrespect for the teachers could be when you have to place demands on the children to maintain order and structure. Two things that most children are not receiving in their homes at times.

  2. I could not agree more unfortunately to many parents these days depend on the school to instill values and morals and monks their children instead of it happening at home! I appreciate you and all you do!

  3. I am a parent and I honestly agree with what you are saying. My heart goes out to educators and anyone in the academic field. I am a partner with the educators. One thing I do is make sure my daughter is in line and I am recently investing in the book club she want to start at school. The other students are so happy to know that an adult wants to invest in them. I feel reading can take them places and also enhance them in other areas. I pay for the books, outings, and the book club merchandise out of pocket. I also plan on reading and discussing the books with them. They will also be rewared or completing everything (less screen time also). It is a small investment in our youth but I had to do it. Hopefully, doing this with seven students will also help their teachers in some way. Some of us parents try, but it is so many that don’t and I will always keep you all in my prayers.

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